I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
