Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
tell me about the eggs
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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