He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
