I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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