That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Quick, to the slutcave!
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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