I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
