fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Randomize
