No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
