I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
