So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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