I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Randomize
