I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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