Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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