a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I am morally bankrupt
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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