I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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