mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
the day after is always just damage control
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
