Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
