you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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