Sponge bath it is.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
