with your own penis?
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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