So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
