just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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