Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I understand Curling. That high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
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The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
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Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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