Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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