i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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