Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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