Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
