Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
