But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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