shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
