I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Randomize
