i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
