when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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