I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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