they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
