Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize
