I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
