I'm drive I can fine osifer
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
