just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I need moral support for this bender
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
