why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Randomize
