Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
