And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
