and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Randomize
