Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
