Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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