you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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