Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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