if i can run in heels then i can drive
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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