I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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