Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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