Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
