His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
There r osticjed everywhere
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
