I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
