doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
