Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
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his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
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All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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