this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
