i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Randomize
